We live in a society where the custodians of patriarchy have dominated and oppressed women for too long. Women have been subjugated for ages. There is a war brewing; raging like a volcano at the brink of eruption and the consequence is going to splatter on all and sundry. I am a mother,
and I fear for my little boy. The war on gender equality is not new; as a gender equality advocate, I have seen some men fight violently to hold onto their power of dominance. They view feminism as an affront on their manhood and entitlements. An Ogun (god of iron) and Sango (god of thunder) worshiper suddenly becomes a Bible thumping preacher, screaming like prophet Isaiah in the wilderness and condemning every woman to a life of submission and silence – even at the glaring face of oppression.
Oppression is sweet for a person who has
been used to power, hence I do not blame them so much. They were
groomed to see women as objects of subjugation, objectifying every woman
and expecting submission from every woman they come in contact with.
They get angry at any woman who dares have a voice and a functioning
alert brain.
Do not get me wrong, this abhorrence for
gender equality is not displayed by the male gender alone; even
females are also custodians of patriarchy. The old matriarchs endorsed
patriarchy hook line and sinker. They bore their pains of living a life
of subjugation, with heads bowed, waiting for the time when they would
be in control and exercise their repressed anger and bitterness as a
form of control on the young women coming after them.
They taught their sons never to give way
to any woman, nor allow her have a voice where he is. They shut their
daughters and daughters-in-law up, when their sons are talking. They
treat their sons like kings riddled with every form of entitlement
mentality. Yet I do not blame them because habits, believes, imbibed
characters and addiction is a difficult cycle to break. The little boys
of yesterday, saw yesterday’s fathers live a life of dominance, power
and control over women, hence they followed their footsteps and became a
chip of the old block. But enough of the blames on the doorsteps of the
old patriarchs and matriarchs!
Our generation has to change the
narratives. We have to accept gender equality wholeheartedly and teach
our little boys right from when they begin to assimilate their
environment that a female is never inferior to them. We have to create a
society for our little girls which enables them to view gender equality
as a normal way of life, they need not grow up with bitterness, so as
not to position them on the path of resentment against the male gender.
As a father who resents the idea of
gender equality, are you going to be able to stand tomorrow and watch
your daughter being subjugated by a man? Be it at the work place, her
marriage or the society in general? Are you going to be able to watch
your son in law turn your daughter to a haggard, old shrew due to being
left alone with child care, house chores and also a huge chunk of the
bills? Isn’t that going to break your heart to pieces? You might not get
my drift now nor envisage it because you are revelling in the
dividends of patriarchy and dominance at the moment, but I tell you I
have seen father’s go ballistic with anger and pain at how their
daughters are being maltreated today, yet they maltreated their wives
and other women yesterday.
I am a mother, and I am scared, scared
of the society and the venom patriarchy has created in the heart of
women. Girls are now being raised to be hard, independent and no
nonsense. Majority of women of today have broken out from the chains of
subjugation. We are not ready to be cowered by patriarchy anymore. We
have found our voices and we are grooming our girls never to lose
theirs.
While we train the girls to be hard and
independent, we groom the boys to be tolerant, loving and responsible.
Are these little boys going to have a life of peace despite the training
we are going to give to them? Are they not going to be judged and
adjudged for any little mistake by a society which has succeeded in
breeding and creating mean matriarchs who views the majority of the male
gender as an entitled lots? Are these boys not going to be given black
eyes, broken heads and torn lips at any little misunderstanding by our
learned kung fu and taekwando trained daughters? Ohhh patriarchy what
have you done to our little boys of today whom we are training not to
follow your steps? What future of happiness do these little boys have?
Come all and sundry, let us go back to
the drawing board, let us create a balanced world. Let us teach our
little boys and girls that every gender is equal and should be treated
equally. Let us teach them through our ways of life and homely
gesticulation that mutual respect is key in this condescending world.
Let us raise our little ones to grow up without any form of resentment
towards any gender. Only then can we have a balanced world, filled with
people of humane hearts who dwell together in peace and harmony.
I am Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu and I stand with the little boys of today.
Photo Credit: Bryan Creely | Dreamstime.com
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